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Sunday, 10 September 2017

Adult Jokes in Hindi Dirty Jokes In Hindi and Urdu

Adult Jokes in Hindi Dirty Jokes In Hindi and Urdu




adult jokes in hindi

adult jokes in hindi

Adult Jokes in Hindi Dirty Jokes In Hindi and Urdu Adult Hindi Jokes we know about 
Adult Hindi Jokes are also known as Dirty Hindi Jokes and Dirty Jokes in Hindi or Sexy Hindi Jokes or Adult Indian Jokes or Hindi Sexy Jokes. Adult Hindi Jokes are espacially focused on Indian or Hindi visitors because they are either written in Hindi language. or related to Indian scenario. The term adult hindi jokes is used to describe various jokes, prose, poems, black comedy and skits that deal with topics that are considered to be adult Hindi Sexy funny jokes. ... hindi jokes video funny punjabi jokes funny joke in hindi for kids latest funny jokes in hindi Hindi adult sms messages which is apparently .Urdu adult sms contains Urdu funny adult sms, adults Urdu sms, Urdu adult sms jokes, free adult sms We have all kind of Non Veg Jokes In Hindi & English. You can also read Dirty, Sexy & Adult Non Veg Jokes and Subscribe for Daily Non Veg Jokes. 
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Double Meaning Jokes

1.
Chor ladki ki chain loot ke bhaaga Jaate jaate jorse boobs bhi daba gaya.
Bas usi din se ye muhavara bana: EK TO CHORI UPAR SE SEENAJORI…..
2.
Dad.. Ek zamana tha jab mai 10 rupaye me Doodh Pee k aata tha Son..
woh zamana gaya dad Aajkal toh 10 rupaye me koi dikhati bhi nahi hai….
3.
Woman to God: U R partial, U gave Men both, a Penis & a Brain.
God: Dont worry, he does not have enough blood supply to use both at the same time…!!
4.
Why Boys Walk Faster Than Girls & Girls Talk More Than Boys?
B’coz Boys Have 1 Extra Leg, Girls Have 1 Extra Lips. Samje toh Forwrd Karo Nahi toh Cartoon Dekho.
5.
Dudhwala continuously ringing door-bell.Lady from inside: Bhaiya kitna dabaoge, ab bas bhi karo. tumse accha to Paperwala hai jo chup chap neeche se daal deta haai….
6.
What is the Difference between a ‘BOOT’ (Shoe) & a ‘CHOOT’ (Pussy) ??? ;) . . . . . .
A BOOT accepts only one SIZE only, But a CHOOT accepts all SIZES…!& Always Dil Mange More.:O
7.
Bhagwan- Maine Ladkiyo ko itna Sundar, Kamuk, Uttejak banaya koi kami ho to batao.
Boy:-Bas niche chood me Pasword System kar do taki jiski hai wo hi chod sake.
8.
Santa was rejected at MBA job interview when he was asked to give an example of team work.
. Santa replied ”Gang Rape”.
9.
The Duck looks smooth & calm on top of water but under that there is restless paddling.
Moral of the story : Admi upar se kitna bhi sharif lagta ho..Neeche se uska samaan hilta hi rahta hai.
10.
RECESSiON Signboard on d door of a prostitute:
Summer Offer: “USE BOTH SiDES AT SAME PRiCE OR ANY ONE SiDE TWiCE.”
11.
Instead of learning unconditional love, faithfulness, honesty & loyalty from Dogs, the only thing we learnt is their “FUCKING” style!
12.
Marital sex is holy; it should be kept sacred.
Extramarital sex is immoral; it should be kept secret..;)
13.
Ladki patane mein ‘CH’ shabd ka bahut yogdan hai.. Na pate to Chanta &
Chapal milta hai, Pat jaye to Chumna, Chusna, Chatna, Chadhna aur CHODNA milta hai..
14.
Baap- Iss Ladki mein aisa kya hai ki toone shaadi k liye haan kar di ?
Beta- dad ye bachpan mein Angutha Bahut Achchha Choosti thi.. Isliye…!
15.
1st man: Tum Niche ke Baal kaise Saaf karte ho? 2nd: Razor se, aur tum?
1st: Jarurat he nahi, Meri bivi Baatein hi aisi karti hai ki Jhante Sulag jati hai..
16.
Pahli bar Jija shadi k baad sasural aaya, biwi ki choti bahen khidki se dekh ke boli-Lo aa gaya Bhenchod.
Maa-Aisa nahi kehte. Wo boli-Rishta vahi, soch nayi..
17.
Papa jab aap chote the tab dadaji aapko marte the.
Beta -Papa jab aap chote the tab dadaji aapko marte the.
Papa -ha
Beta -to ye khandani dadagiri  kab band hogi.
18.
Sab 1-1 doha sunao
Sir 2 stud- Sab 1-1 doha sunao,
Pappu pahle tum sunao..
Pappu- Chidiya bathi ped pe,
Usne diya mut, Pintu ki ma ki chut..
Sir- Sabaas very gud,
Ab pintu tum sunao..
Pintu- Kabutar baitha neem par usne diya mut,
Pappu ki ma ka bhosada
Or master ki ma ki chut… :-)
19.
Ek ladki ne jor se kaha
Abdul teri maa ka bhosda, madarchod…
Paas khade sadhu ne kaha beti aisa nahi bolte hai, kya baat hui.
Ladki boli-usne mere boobs dabaye.
Baba ne boobs dabakar kaha – aise dabaye..
Ladki – haa baba, phir usne mere kapde khole.
Baba ne uske kapde kholkar bole -aise.
Ladki – haa baba
Baba – is par gali dena shobha nahi deta.
Ladki – phir usne mujhe litakar chod diya.
Baba ne chodkar bole aise choda.
Ladki – haa baba
Baba – isme bhi gali dena shobha nahi deta.
Ladki – baba usne chodne ke bad bataya ki use aids hai.
Baba :- abdul madarchod….. Teri maa ka bhosda…

Larki Ko drict chodo..

Paneer Rs.300/-Kg.

PETROL Rs.73/-Ltr
Condoms Wahi,
Rs.15/ Mein 3Pcs.
Bhenchod Aakhir..
Sarkar Chahti kya Hai ?
Ladki ko KHILAO Mat
GHUMAO' Mat
Bassss
CHODDTE Raho.?   



Ladki Ki Bra Ka Load

Santa – Ek baat puchu ?

Banta – Hamm puch bhai.

Santa – Bra aur banyan me kya antar rhata hai ?

Banta – Banyan me kapda jyada hota hai,

Aur load kam hota hai.

Bra me kapda kam hota hai,

Aur load bahut jyada hota hai. 🙂 🙂

Aage Lu Ya Piche Lu


Teachar – Lu kitne prakar ki hoti hai ?

Pappu – Lu anek prakar ki hoti hai.

Teachar – Jiase ?

Pappu – Aage lu, Piche lu,

Hath me lu aur muh me lu.

Teachar – Bhag kutte. 🙂

MAN: KISS KARUN? GA ….

Man: Kiss Karun?

Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.

Man: Boob dabaun.?

Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?

Man: Fuck?

Gal: Period me hun.?

Man: Don’t say loose motions hai.


Bahut Thand Hai
लडकी- यार ठण्ड बहोत पड रही है, मेरे होंठ फट गए हैं...
लडका- अरे पगली अभी तो शुरुआत है, आगे आगे देख क्या क्या फटता हैं


Sunny Leone In Shopping Mall
सनी लियॉन मॉल में गयी और कुछ कपडे सेलेक्ट किये

सनी लियॉन - यहाँ चेंजिंग रूम कहाँ बना है..

दुकानदार - क्या मेडम
आप भी हम से शर्मा रही हैं
पूरा 16 GB का मेमोरी कार्ड भरा है आप के कलेक्शन से

Bade Kar Diye
गर्लफ्रेंड - तुमने मेरा दूध चूस चूस कर बड़े कर दिए।

बॉयफ्रेंड - नहीं पगली, अगर ऐसा होता तो मेरा लण्ड घुटने तक पहुँच गया होता और मुझे condom की जगह सायकिल की ट्यूब लगानी पड़ती।

Gareebon Se Pyar
पप्पू की क्लास में टीचर ने बच्चो को समझाते हुए बोला, बच्चो, गरीबों से हमेशा प्यार से पेश आना चाहिए।
पप्पू एक दम से बोला: अच्छा, अब समझा।
टीचर: क्या?
पप्पू : तभी पापा नौकरानी को गले लगाते है,
मम्मी दूधवाले को और दीदी ड्राईवर को।


Population Control
जनसंख्या को काबू मे करने के लिये सरकार ने
नया कानून बनाया है।
4 बच्चे पैदा करने वाले हसबैंड को 6 महीने की सजा,
8 बच्चे पैदा करने पर तीन साल की सजा, और यदि 12 बच्चे पैदा किये तो पडोसियों को भी 5 साल की

सजा होगी क्योंकि सरकार का मानना है कि
एक अकेले हसबैंड के बस की बात नहीं है।

Job Interview
बॉस: तुम्हारी ability क्या हैं...?
महिला: Young हूँ, Dynamic हूँ, Sincere हूँ,... Honest, Hardworking, Qualified, और Experienced भी हूँ, और तो और.., Deserving हूँ, Typing जानती हूँ, Computer में भी expert हूँ, थोड़ा accounts भी जानती हूँ..!!!
बॉस: और कुछ...,

महिला: Single हूँ, और सबसे जरुरी बात के अपने
Flat में अकेली रहती हूँ...और कोपर-टी लगा रखा है
बॉस: बस कर पगली, अब क्या Joining के दिन
ही Promotion लेगी...!!

Jiraaf Aur Bandar
एक बार बंदर और जिराफ़ मे डील होती है -" मेरी बीवी तेरी और तेरी बीवी मेरी ! " 

कुछ दिन बाद - जिराफ़ बंदर को मिलने आता है और..देखता है कि, बंदर नीचे गिरा पड़ा है, मुंह से झाग निकल रहा है !

जिराफ़ : " अरे, क्या हुआ ?
बंदर : " भेन्चौद ....! ले जा, अपनी बीवी वापिस !

जिराफ़ : " क्यूं ? क्या हुआ...मजा नही आया ?
बंदर : " मजा ?

- भेन्चौद किस करने को उपर चढ़ो ......! दबाने नीचे आओ .......! चोदने पीछे जाओ .......! 

- भेन्चौद ... गांड़ फट्ट गई.! मेरी समझ नही आ रहा कि, साला चोद रहा हूं या ओलंपिक की तैयारी कर रहा हूं!!!!

Only Sex
पत्नी: नाश्ता कर लो।
पति: सेक्स ही मेरा नाश्ता है और वो सेक्स करने लग जाता है। दोपहर को पत्नी बोली,"लंच कर लो।"
पति: सेक्स ही मेरा लंच है और सेक्स करने लग जाता है।

रात को जब पति घर आता है तो पत्नी पैंटी उतार कर हीटर के आगे बैठी होती है।

पति: ये क्या है?
पत्नी: हवस के पुजारी खाना गर्म कर रही हूँ।

16 वर्ष की चूत    सेक्सी कविता    जवान लड़की के दूध में क्या होता है.
Things to Learn From SRK Movies: 

Kuch Kuch hota hai: DOST SE PYAAR
Mohabattein: PRINCIPAL KI BETI SE PYAAR..
Kal ho na ho: PADOSI KI BETI SE PYAAR
Kabhi khushi Kabhi gum: NAUKAR KI BETI SE PYAAR
Kabhi Alvida na Kehna: ..DUSARO KI BIWI SE PYAAR
Baazigar: DUSHMAN KI BETI SE PYAAR
Pardes: ..DOST KI MANGETAR SE PYAAR
Dil se:  TERRORIST SE PYAAR
Mai Hoon na: TEACHER SE PYAAR
Veer Zaara : Hindu hoke Muslim ladki se pyar, woh bhi Pakistani
Chennai Express : DON KI BETI SE PYAAR.. 
Note - SRK teaches us how to manage risky love affairs..!!!
arre haa, risky se yaad aaya,
The most risky love is...
Rab ne bana di jodi: KHUDKI biwi se pyaar .. 

Jab Kisi Ki Maa Chudh Rahi Ho To Bachhe Ko Kese Neend Aayegi“
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